Like I Am
by BluEyes
Summary: mush...pure and total mush...5th season, CnM, mush...what else can you ask for in the world?


Like I Am

So, my friend, who hates country music, by the way, got me, like, addicted to this stupid CD. Hmpf. Melt by Rascal Flatts. I don't know why it's addicting, but…it is. And I was listening to this song on my way home after dropping her off last night and this idea popped into my head…it just sounded so Chandler, lol. And I'm hoping that I don't get electrocuted and die or my computer doesn't cuz, um, it's thunderstorming…which is why I'm not working *grumbles* and my dog just ran in here cuz he's scared to death of thunder, lol. I wonder where the other one is… Oh, right, the fic. So, this is like 5th season… like, right after everyone finds out about Chandler and Monica. Wait, here comes my other dog. Wow, they're such wusses, lol. Characters aren't mine, song isn't, blah, blah, blah…

Chandler rolled over onto his stomach, resting his head against his crossed arms. He smiled with content, watching her. Watching as her back rose with every breath inhaled, fell with every breath exhaled. Her dark hair was pulled back into a ponytail, messed up from sleep, a few strands falling in her face, and all she was wearing was a t-shirt. His t-shirt.

And he couldn't help but grin.

He stared in amazement, still unable to believe that he was the one there with her. He was the one allowed to hold her, touch her, kiss her, watch her while she slept. 

Whatever it was that she saw in him, he sure as hell didn't.

She was so far out of his league that it wasn't even a fair game. He didn't deserve her. Not for one second did he believe that he deserved her. She deserved someone serious, mature…basically someone that was everything he wasn't. 

But she had changed him.

He was lying there, watching her sleep for one. He wasn't the kind of person who would lie awake at night, watching someone sleep. But with her he just, he couldn't help it. And there was something else that she had changed about him…something that he wouldn't admit to the rest of the world if his life depended on it.

He wanted her forever.

It had taken him months just to say the words "I love you" after he'd first felt it, he wasn't about to admit out loud that he wanted her forever. But he did. He still wasn't quite sure about the whole marriage and kids thing, and it had scared the crap out of him when everyone was joking around about it. But then, after Joey and Ross had told him that it would take some kind of a big gesture for Monica to forgive him, he'd come up with proposing. And it might have been a spur-of-the-moment-she-won't-say-yes-so-why-not thing…but when he'd gone in and bought the ring, for a second, just one second, he had pictured her saying yes. Though when she'd said no, he'd realized that a yes probably would have produced nothing less than a Chandler-shaped-hole in their front door. 

But he'd kept the ring.

It was sitting at the bottom of one of his dresser drawers, buried to the rest of the world. But he'd still kept it. Maybe someday he'd ask and mean it…and maybe someday she'd say yes. As far as he was concerned, someday was no time soon, but it was still out there. Almost tangible, yet not quite.

Finally, unable to resist himself any longer, he moved closer, brushing a few strands of hair out of her face, planting a soft kiss on her lips.

"Mmm, Chandler," she mumbled, cuddling closer.

Chandler grinned at the fact that even in her sleep, his was the name on her lips. Tightening his arms around her, he settled down, still watching her sleep, glancing out the window as the dark sky broke to dawn.

Maybe someday would be sooner than he'd ever thought.

__

Lying here with you

I watch you as you sleep

The dawn is closing in

With every breath you breathe

I can feel the change

The change you've made in me

But will I ever see

All the things you see in me

When you say that I'm one of a kind

Baby, I don't see it, but you believe

That I'm so strong and true, I promise you

I'll try to be that kind of man

Because you love me like I am

"So what movie did you want to see?" Monica asked as they walked down the street.

"Um," Chandler replied, paying more attention to the guy walking toward them who he was pretty sure was checking Monica out than to her question. Just as he was contemplating whether or not he should wrap his arm around her in a "she's mine" gesture, Monica wrapped her arm around his waist in an "I'm taken" type way, and Chandler watched as the man looked him up and down before walking past. Chandler tried not to visibly grin. "I don't care," he finally replied.

"What?"

"I don't care what movie we see," he smiled down at her. "Whatever you want to see is fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah," he kissed the top of her head, grinning at the fact that he was finally starting to catch onto how the whole love-thing worked.

"So even if it's a chick-flick?"

Chandler laughed. "If I'm letting you choose isn't it a given that it will be?"

Monica nudged him playfully. "Not…necessarily…"

"Yes, necess-oh my god," he stopped in mid-sentence, seeing a man rip a purse off the shoulder of a young woman a few yards in front of them, immediately taking off running down the block. The woman stopped dead in her tracks, not calling out after him, not yelling for help, just standing there. Monica tightened her arm around Chandler, and he pulled her closer. He wanted to tell her to relax, if anything, she could protect him and beat the bad-guy up, not the other way around, but he decided against it. Instead he smiled; he made her feel safe.

"Are you okay?" Monica asked the woman, stopping as they passed her.

"Yeah, fine," she replied, and it was then that they realized she was laughing.

"Are you…sure?" Chandler asked, not sure that hysterically laughing would be most people's reaction to the situation.

"Yeah, I just," she paused, shaking her head. "That purse was empty," she explained. "I was having lunch with a friend and she'd asked to borrow a purse…I forgot it in the car and left my real purse in the restaurant with her. I have close to 200 dollars in my actual purse, my cell phone, credit cards…everything, so if he'd come by when I was walking into the restaurant the first time, I would've been screwed. But that purse," she laughed again at the irony of the situation. "There was nothing in it…" Monica and Chandler both laughed, finally seeing how she'd seen the humor of the situation as she continued to laugh. "Thanks for asking, though," she smiled at them, turning to go.

"In a few hours, she'll probably realize that she was pretty much mugged and freak out about it," Chandler said after she'd left and they'd started walking again.

"Yeah, probably," Monica again tightened her arm around him at that thought.

"You know that you're probably more capable of beating him up than I am," he laughed, referring to her tightening her arm around him again.

"Yeah, probably," she smiled at him. "But you can scare him away for me before anything even happens."

"So I look scary?" he dropped his arm from around her in feign anger.

"No, just…scarier than me?" she laughed. "They're just more likely to attack a woman who's alone than one who's with a big strong man," she paused, looking at him. "Or, ya know, just a man in general…"

"Hey! I don't think I'm gonna go to your chick-flick anymore," he crossed his arms. "And I knew what you meant the first time…"

Monica laughed, grabbing onto his arm. "I love you?"

"Fine," Chandler dropped his arms, taking her hand. "I guess I love you, too…"

"So we can still see my movie?" she asked, and Chandler just laughed.

__

When it comes to love

I may not know the rules

But there's one thing I know

My heart belongs to you

Just you

When you say that I'm one of a kind

Baby, I don't see it, but you believe

That I'm so strong and true, I promise you

I'll try to be that kind of man

Because you love me like I am

"Um, sorry about tonight," Chandler said as he unlocked his apartment door. "That the movie was sold out…and that that waiter dropped that tray on you…"

Monica laughed. "It's not your fault."

"No, but these kind of things always happen to me, you'll learn that soon enough," he said as he opened the door, letting her go in first.

"I learned that a long time ago," she smiled at him. 

"Well then it's really your fault for dating me anyway," he shrugged, and she laughed.

"It's your fault for making me fall in love with you," she smiled.

"Can't take any of the blame for that," he shook his head. "I think I'm annoying, not very loveable at all."

"Fine," Monica laughed as she moved toward him, kissing him. "My shirt's still wet…"

"Then we'd better get you out of it," he mumbled against her lips as they moved toward his room. 

__

You show me you love me

With a fire that burns deep inside

When you say that I'm one of a kind

Baby, I don't see it, but you believe

That I'm so strong and true, I promise you

I'll try to be that kind of man

Because you love me like I am

Chandler once again lie awake, watching Monica sleep. 

He would never understand. Not for the life of him would he understand. Look at who she'd dated before him…Richard, Pete…_Richard_, he thought again bitterly. At one point in time he'd thought the world of Richard, that he was everything he wanted to yet would never actually be. But then he'd broken Monica's heart. And he'd decided that that was reason enough not to want to be like him. Because he'd never break her heart. Never. He'd never be the reason that she cried, the reason that she was hurt. He'd be the one to wipe her tears away and the one to hold her when the hurt wouldn't go away, but he'd never be the cause, he'd sworn that to himself after their first night together.

"Whatcha thinkin' about," Monica whispered, causing Chandler to jump. "Sorry," she laughed, not meaning to scare him.

"Nothing," he smiled, hoping that she wouldn't notice in the dark that he was blushing.

"Were you watching me sleep?" she smiled.

"Maybe…"

Monica laughed, rolling closer and kissing him on the lips. "You're so cute," she smiled, settling down in his arms.

Chandler smiled to himself as her breathing once again became steady, meaning that she was asleep again. He finally closed his eyes, deciding to stop over-thinking and just go to sleep.

She loved him. He might never understand why…but she did. The quips and quirks and bad dates and smart-ass remarks…all of him.

He kissed her hair; understanding was overrated.

She loved him.

__

When you say that I'm one of a kind

Baby, I don't see it, but you believe

That I'm so strong and true, I promise you

I'll try to be that kind of man

Because you love me like I am, I am

__

I'll never understand

I don't think I'll ever understand

Why you love me

Why you love me just like I am

(_Like I Am_, Rascall Flatts)

*sighs* man, does it feel good to write some pointless mush :) so that was, duh, a standalone…but please review, thanks :)


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